


where I can't follow

by klainelynch



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Cranefish Town, Episode: s04e02 Korra Alone, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Katara fights the patriarchy, Korra’s recovery, Light Angst, Pre-Relationship, Rehabilitation, Writer's Month 2020, because he ALSO fights the patriarchy at any given opportunity, how is that not already a tag, rating has gone up for one curse word that Aang gets to use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25718494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainelynch/pseuds/klainelynch
Summary: long-dis·tance re·la·tion·ship[lôNG-dis·ǝns rǝ·lāSH(ǝ)n·SHip]nounAn intimate relationship between two peoplewho are geographically separated from one another.As in: Korra wonders if she can be in oneif Asami doesn’t know that she loves her.As in: Aang loves how Katara always helps those in need,but the North Pole is so far from Cranefish Town.As in: Roku has to learn from Ta Min how to love from afar.As in: Kyoshi just gave her heart to Rangi,and now she’s gone to the North Pole.As in: Kuruk wonders if he can be in oneif Hei-Ran doesn’t know that he loves her.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writer’s month [prompt](https://writersmonth.tumblr.com/prompts) #4 Long distance relationship.
> 
> Each chapter will focus on a different Avatar and a long distance relationship, going back in time through Kuruk (The Shadow of Kyoshi gave me some Kuruk feels that I did NOT ask for). I have the Aang & Katara chapter written, but still need to edit it. I have vague ideas for the others, and they’ll probably get written next month after this challenge is done. Tags will be updated as chapters are posted.

Korra couldn’t explain what had changed.

Two years.

Her friends had been writing her letters for two years, and she hadn’t written back once. Well, she hadn’t put any of her words to paper. In her head, she had replied to each one. Her words were beautiful, and flowed like her hair cascading down her shoulders, and they reflected the love that her friends had shared with her.

Then she would pick up a pen, and the words would fly away. Maybe they hid in her pores like the drops of Zaheer’s poison; maybe they died like she did, or should have.

It didn’t make sense, but nothing in her life seemed to make sense any more, so when Korra picked up her pen, and the words didn’t immediately vanish, she was simply grateful. 

Katara had told her not to let any one task overwhelm her. That had been her problem in the beginning. She would think about how much she had lost, and how long it would take to regain it all, and the fact that she couldn’t do everything meant she couldn’t do anything. 

But she was getting better now, wasn’t she? She could walk, and bend, and sometimes that felt like enough. She would write to Asami today, and one of the boys tomorrow.

_(she wouldn’t_

_did some part of her know that?_

_did that part hide itself so that this letter would happen, as it needed to?_

_was that ravaa, or korra, or something else?)_

The words did not flow easily. They were not like water, her first and most instinctual element. They were not like fire, full of power and relentless movement. They were not even like air, hard-won but all around her. No, these words were hidden in the earth. She had to dig for them. Her nails were caked with the dirt as she clawed down, digging a hole to the other side of the world. To Asami. The words were the refined pieces of earth in metal— hard to sense at first, but once she found them, they were a beacon, calling to her until she pulled them to her, promising to never let go.

_(they were not the bits of mercury that had coarsed through korra’s veins, but removing them from her mind felt almost as freeing)_

Korra didn’t realize that she was in love with Asami until she watched the letter sail away on the ferry. It felt like she hadn’t noticed that she was cutting out her own heart until it was too late to rip open the envelope and shove it back in. 

She ran (not _ran_ , Korra couldn’t _run_ like she used to, but she ran like this new broken person she was) to her room and told Asami everything in a new letter. She put down every thought, every feeling she had for her best friend, for this woman she loved. How had she not seen it? The months before she had been poisoned were some of the happiest in her life, and every happy memory seemed to go back to Asami. The easy smiles? The way they both fell into step with each other? It had never been like that with anyone else, and Korra didn’t _want_ it with anyone else. She wanted Asami, and she wanted Asami to want her.

Her face warmed as she smiled and remembered how steady Asami’s hands had felt on her shoulders that day on the pier, when Asami had promised to go with her, though neither of them had realized how broken Korra really was—

_broken_

That’s all she was, and the shattered pieces of herself were all she had.

She couldn’t do this to Asami.

Who was to say those moments were anything more than friendship? Korra knew she hadn't always been the best judge of character. 

She trusted Asami, but she didn’t trust herself. 

And even if Asami somehow felt the same way, Korra was too damaged for any kind of relationship. She had been trying to put herself back together for two years and hadn’t managed to do it yet. How could she possibly justify unloading _that_ onto someone whole, and beautiful, and deserving of unblemished love?

Korra folded the letter as tightly as she could, and when it was hidden in her fist, she burned hot and let the ashes fall to the floor. Korra was alone, and for everyone else’s sake, it needed to stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a shortened version of Samwise Gamgee’s plea to Frodo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King— “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, but especially now since this is my first planned multi-chapter wip in almost fifteen years (at least the first one where I know how many chapters there will be and I'm posting them as I finish them instead of all at once).
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [klainelynch](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

"Ooh, this one came from _really_ far away!" said the girl at the mail counter as she handed over the pale blue envelope. Katara didn't know her name, but they had polite enough conversation every time she checked the group's mail. Setting up a permanent mailing address had been weird; it felt like something reserved for adults, and no one in their group felt like one of those, even though they had saved the world countless times by now. But world leaders and other high profile individuals had to contact them somehow, and besides, they had used Cranefish Town as their base of operations for over two years at this point. 

Katara glanced at the return address and her stomach hardened. Yugoda had written her back. 

_This is what you wanted_ , she reminded herself. 

She murmured her thanks and left as quickly as she could. It wasn't easy to find a quiet place to read the letter— she could have waited until she got back to the inn, but the walk was too long for her nerves. Instead, she ducked into the first empty alley she could find and settled against the wall as she allowed the words to wash over her. 

On the first read, she merely absorbed the literal words Yugoda used. In the second read, she began to understand Yugoda's meaning behind her words (and the words she _didn't_ use). By the third read, Katara understood what the universe was asking of her, and the letter began to burn in her hands. It wasn't Yugoda's fault. Her words were cautious, not meant to hurt her, but niceties couldn’t soften the reality of how little had changed at the North Pole. Cranefish Town was far from perfect, but at least its problems were out in the open.

Blinking away the tears that always accompanied her anger, Katara pushed off the wall and started walking in the direction of the inn. She had planned on stopping by the market and getting some ingredients for supper. Their group typically ate whatever meals Thu, the inn's elderly cook, had prepared, but Katara always made sure to ask ahead of time what she planned on cooking, and about once a week the dish wouldn't work for Aang. It was on those nights that Aang and Katara prepared a vegetarian supper in the small kitchen upstairs, and even though Katara knew that Sokka could smell the delicious meat from downstairs, he and the rest of the group always joined them for their supper. 

It was nice, being together like that.

Her stomach churned as she thought about what Yugoda had written. It wasn’t right, and it was going to take a lot of work to fix it. She needed Aang, needed to talk this over with him and make sure that she wasn’t rushing into this without thinking it through. Although she trusted herself, she trusted herself even more when she was with him.

Katara walked right past the street that would have taken her to Mr. Hong's vegetable stand. She didn't stop by the new noodle vendor (and really, his noodles were just okay compared to Rachana's, but she had moved her restaurant to Ba Sing Se and Uncle’s most recent letter assured Katara that the entire Middle Ring couldn’t get enough of her spicy noodles). As much as she wanted to meander and get lost in the shops, it would only be prolonging the inevitable. Her legs started to cramp as she picked up her pace even more, but the discomfort was a welcome distraction from the anger. It had been a long time since she’d felt this sort of rage, and she hadn’t missed it or the way her head would feel clouded with emotion until she set things right.

One thought was absolutely clear in her mind. No matter what she chose, this was going to hurt. A lot.

“They’re still doing it,” Katara said as soon as Aang opened his door, and he took a step back.

“Uh, who’s doing what? Are you okay?”

Katara took a deep breath and clenched her fists so tightly that she could feel her nails breaking skin. “Yugoda wrote me back.”

“Oh.”

Aang had been there when Katara realized that she didn’t actually know what was happening in the Northern Water Tribe. News from the rebuilding of the Southern Water Tribe had overshadowed the _lack_ of news from their sister tribe since the end of war. They’d been at Kwong’s, just the two of them, and Katara wasn’t sure if she felt more guilt over forgetting the entire North for so long or for letting the thought spoil a rare night out for them. 

Aang was the one who suggested that she write to someone whom she trusted, just to see what was really going on. It had been a good suggestion; it still was, even if it might separate them for a time.

Katara handed the letter over so Aang could read it himself. She didn’t think she could read it aloud, she was still so angry. It didn’t take long before Aang looked up, eyes burning like hers.

“They claim there are _no_ men who are willing to teach women fighting?”

Katara nodded.

“And any of the women who _would_ be willing to teach others of course don’t have the fighting experience necessary to do the job.”

Katara nodded again.

Aang threw the letter on the bed. “Then what was the fucking point of them declaring that women now have the right to learn fighting!”

“They wanted the good publicity without having to do any of the hard work,” Katara said as she crossed her arms. “They can _say_ women are now free to learn fighting all day long, but until there are willing masters, it’s just empty words.” She dropped to the bed and let her arms rest on her knees. She was tired, _so_ tired of having to fix these same problems again and again and again and _again_.

Aang sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She closed her eyes and tried not to let the frustration overwhelm her, but the tears pricked at her eyes anyway.

“Did you see her post script?” Katara asked. She knew he had, but she asked anyway.

“Yeah,” Aang said quietly. “I think you’d be perfect. Is that something you would want to do?”

She nodded. The tears seemed to have migrated to her throat, but she managed to say, “I don’t think I could live with myself if I abandoned them.”

“There’s no one better to teach the next generation of waterbenders,” Aang said, and he wrapped his other arm around her as she finally broke down. She wanted to do this, wanted to bring her knowledge and skills to so many women who might not have a chance to otherwise learn the other half of their element, but it would mean leaving Aang and their friends for months. Maybe even a year.

“I know we’ve really haven’t been in Cranefish Town for that long, but it feels like such a home. I don’t want to leave it. I don’t want to leave _you_ , or Sokka, or Suki, or Toph, but I have to. _I have to do this_.”

“We’ll come visit you,” he murmured into her hair. “You’ll have to turn us away, we’ll be there so often.” She laughed, and it turned into a hiccup. Aang untangled their arms and his hands made their way to her face as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said.

“I want this.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know.”

She returned her head to his shoulder and let him wrap his arms around her again. Tonight, she would write to Chief Arnook and inform him of her plans. Tomorrow, she would wrap up her business here and make preparations for her journey by the end of the week.

But all of that was later. Now, she soaked up the last bit of time she had with Aang, and gave herself the grace to just be sad about everything she was about to give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be cheating a bit since it’s the set up for the long distance rather than the actual separation, but this was the image that came to me right after I wrote the first chapter. And obviously something had to change between ATLA and LoK since Eska is a very capable fighter, so why not have Katara be the one to go and teach the female waterbenders of the North Pole?
> 
> Also, the North doing the performative work of equality while not doing the actual work of equality is VERY much emotionally inspired by everyone who this summer was happy to say/post/paint on a street “Black lives matter” or “defund the police,” but when it came time to live up to those promises, they were nowhere to be seen.
> 
> Also I let Aang say “fucking” even though I don’t see many fics where he curses because 1. “Monkey-feathers” is definitely Nick’s version of cursing and 2. If anything would make Aang curse, it’s any form of systemic oppression.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [klainelynch](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/)


End file.
